Being human often means being hard on ourselves. It's in our DNA to survive, and survival often depends on learning from our mistakes and failures. The consequence of failure is more extreme than the reward of success, leading us to focus more on avoiding failure.
As humans, we've physically evolved, but there's still a lot of mental growth to be accomplished. This blog will focus on maintaining a healthy mindset regarding success and failure. We'll mainly discuss how to avoid self-destruction when facing failure, and how to keep success in perspective.
My Philosophy
I fail frequently, both in my work and personal life. But rather than leading to disaster, these failures have contributed to my success.
Despite my failures, I work for a stable and prospering organization, surrounded by a supportive team. I have a happy, healthy family and the means to enjoy life's pleasures. I reside in an incredible place, one of the world's greatest.
I've achieved these things through success in work and personal life, but these successes are grounded in my failures.
"You cannot succeed without failure" - Derek
It's as simple as that. No one is immune to failure, but the way we respond to it differentiates us. Some may shy away from opportunities to fail, opting for an "easy" life. Others, like myself, persist in the face of failure until they achieve success.
How to Bounce Back from Failure
Bouncing back from failure is not just necessary, it's a crucial part of personal growth and success. Once you accept that failure is a part of learning, it becomes emotionally manageable. Fostering a culture where failure is seen as an opportunity for growth is also important. However, it's essential to differentiate between experimentation and repeated failure.
Here are some steps to bounce back effectively:
- Acceptance: Acknowledge and accept the failure. It's a natural part of life. Don't dwell on it or deny it; instead, face it.
- Analyze the Failure: Understand why the failure occurred. Identify contributing factors and learn from the experience.
- Take Responsibility: Own your mistakes, avoid blaming others. Taking responsibility allows you to take control and make positive changes.
- Maintain Perspective: Remember that one setback does not define you or your abilities. Keep your past successes and strengths in mind.
- Setbacks vs. Failures: Differentiate between setbacks and failures. Setbacks are temporary obstacles, while failures are opportunities for growth.
- Develop Resilience: Cultivate resilience, the ability to bounce back from adversity stronger than before. Practice self-care, build a support network, and develop coping strategies.
- Set New Goals: Define or revise your goals. Use insights gained from failure to create a stronger action plan. Break down goals into smaller tasks to stay motivated.
- Take Action: Proactively work towards your goals. Don't let fear of failure hold you back. Apply lessons learned from past failures to your current endeavors.
- Stay Optimistic: Maintain a positive mindset. Believe in your ability to overcome obstacles and focus on the progress you're making.
- Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive individuals who can offer encouragement and guidance. Don't hesitate to ask for help.
- Keep Learning and Growing: View failure as a learning opportunity. Continuously seek knowledge and skills that will help you improve in the future.
- Persevere: Stay persistent and resilient. Understand that setbacks are a part of the journey towards success. Keep pushing forward, and don't give up on your goals and dreams.
Famous Successes and Failures
History is full of revered individuals who have experienced failure. Here are a few stories and quotes from such individuals.
Thomas Edison
Thomas Edison, an American inventor and businessman, is considered one of history's greatest inventors. He is best known for his advances in the development of the electric light bulb, phonograph, and motion picture camera, among many other inventions.
Edison had a pragmatic and resilient outlook on failure, often emphasizing its role in the journey to success. Here are a couple of quotes attributed to him:
- "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." - This quote showcases Edison's perseverance and refusal to view setbacks as permanent failures, but rather as valuable learning experiences.
- "Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." - This quote encourages persistence and resilience, as Edison believed that success often comes after overcoming numerous failures.
Michael Jordan
Recognized as one of the greatest basketball players of all time, Michael Jordan is celebrated for his exceptional skill, competitive drive, and clutch performances. But beyond his athletic prowess, Jordan's impact extends into popular culture, business, and philanthropy, undoubtedly making him a global icon.
A famous quote from Michael Jordan about failure is:
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
This quote underlines Jordan's recognition of failure as a crucial part of his journey to success. It stresses the importance of perseverance, resilience, and learning from setbacks in achieving greatness.
Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill, a British statesman and Prime Minister during World War II, inspired his nation with his resilience and leadership. Known for his eloquence and wit, Churchill's legacy persists as one of the most significant figures of the 20th century.
While Churchill is more commonly associated with quotes about perseverance and courage, he did provide insights that indirectly touch upon the subject of failure:
- "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts." - This well-known Churchill quote underscores the transient nature of both success and failure, emphasizing the importance of resilience and determination.
- "The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty." - Although not explicitly about failure, this quote encourages a mindset that views challenges as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles, indirectly addressing the concept of failure as part of the journey towards success.
Fear of Failure
The fear of failure originates from evolutionary survival and adaptation needs. Historically, failure could mean life or death for humans, whether it be in hunting, defending against predators, or social interactions. This fear has become rooted in human psychology, causing contemporary aversion to failure due to its perceived threat to well-being, social status, and self-worth.
There are several psychological and social reasons for humans' fear of failure:
- Loss of Self-esteem: Failure can dent confidence and self-esteem. Many people equate their worth with their achievements, so failure can feel like personal inadequacy.
- Social Stigma: Society often stigmatizes failure, considering it a sign of incompetence or weakness. This societal pressure can cause individuals to fear judgment or ridicule, leading to a fear of failure.
- Fear of Rejection: Failure can result in rejection in relationships, career opportunities, or other life aspects. The fear of being ostracized can motivate individuals to avoid failure.
- Uncertainty and Change: Failure often results in uncertainty and change, which can be uncomfortable. Humans naturally seek stability and predictability, so fear of failure can stem from fear of the unknown.
- Impact on Goals and Dreams: Failure can derail one's aspirations, leading to disappointment. The fear of failure can arise from a fear of not reaching one's potential.
- Perfectionism: Perfectionism involves setting excessively high self-standards and fearing failure. Perfectionists often equate failure with worthlessness, leading to an intense fear of falling short.
- Avoidance of Pain and Discomfort: Failure is often associated with pain and discomfort. Humans naturally seek to avoid these negative emotions, causing the fear of failure to arise from a desire to avoid distress.
The fear of failure is deeply rooted in human psychology and can arise from various social, psychological, and emotional factors. However, confronting and overcoming this fear is crucial for personal growth and resilience.
Reflecting on Successes and Learning from Failures
Many people I work with experience more success than failure, or at the very least, they're in an environment conducive to success. We live in a prosperous country abundant with opportunities. Most of the world's population lives in less favorable conditions. Keeping this perspective can be very helpful. Personally, I find that engaging in charitable activities helps to maintain this perspective.
However, acknowledging personal or organizational successes can be challenging. It may not be in our nature to celebrate, but it's essential to encourage yourself to do so. Implementing certain practices or strategies can help foster a culture that celebrates success and accepts failure.
How Can Specific Practices Become Part of a Company's Culture?
Kudos
At Fishtank, we primarily use Slack for our daily communication and collaboration. We've created a Slack channel named "kudos" where anyone can publicly recognize someone else's efforts. These shout-outs are highlighted during our quarterly townhall meetings, which encourages others to contribute to the "kudos" channel.
One-on-One Meetings
One-on-one meetings with staff members focus on understanding what's working well and what isn't, and how we can improve. Before each meeting, I ask my staff to complete a quick survey. After noticing that all my questions were about improvement and failure, I revised the survey to start with: "What is your biggest success?" This change encourages people to reflect on their successes before considering their failures, challenges, or areas for improvement.
Townhall Meetings
Fishtank holds a quarterly townhall meeting where we discuss everything from financials to project work, how we're progressing towards our goals, and other organizational updates. Most of the townhall is focused on celebrating our successes, such as great project work, completed initiatives, and upcoming fun activities. We are transparent if we're falling short of our financial or other goals, but the overall theme is to celebrate success.
Summary
There's a lot to take in here, so I'll conclude with a quote: "Take stock in success, celebrate it, foster a sense of perspective, don't fear failure, embrace it" - Derek Bairstow